Setting Boundaries, Practicing Gratitude, and... the Kardashians

Hi everyone!

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by Daylight Saving Time 🙋🏻‍♀️!

For many of us, this time of the year can bring up different emotions and feelings. Whether you’re feeling excited, anxious, sad or a combination of them all, make sure you’re validating your own emotions and giving yourself the time and space to experience them. It can also be a time where it’s important to practice setting boundaries with others — if you need some tips, you’re in luck and can find some below!

Have a very happy Thanksgiving! I’m so grateful that you all are a part of the GG!

All the best,

Mandy

FROM THE GG BLOG
Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be intimidating and it can feel easier to accept current patterns than advocate for yourself. It is also common to struggle with people-pleasing which can result in feeling extreme discomfort with saying “no” and sacrificing your own needs. Having no boundaries can take a toll on your well-being and also result in unhealthy dynamics with others. When we practice setting healthy boundaries, we are honoring our own wants and needs to create a clear guideline of how we would like to be treated.

HOW TO
Practicing Gratitude This Season

1. Keep a gratitude journal - start off with making a goal of writing down three things you are grateful for each day. Try attaching it to an existing habit, like your morning coffee, to support consistency.

2. Share your appreciation - expressing gratitude helps build deep and meaningful relationships while lifting others up. It can be most impactful when it’s authentic and shown through action.

3. Practice mindfulness - stopping to reflect on the present moment can cultivate gratitude and a deeper appreciation for life. Accept where you are right now and trust the process.

4. Cook or bake - make food that you love and share it with others.

MEDIA
The Kardashians 📺

This past week, I was watching one of my guilty pleasures, The Kardashians, and episode 8 of season 4 included scenes of Kim running from place to place due to her packed schedule. Her mom, Kris, sits her down and asks her, “Do you think the world is going to stop if you just say no to people?” to which Kim replies, “I said no to someone and they stopped speaking to me.” Kris expresses concern that Kim’s behaviors could lead to burn out and Kim appears to acknowledge that her habits are unsustainable.

Whether you watch the Kardashians or not, this moment made me think about a common issue that comes up for so many of us with people-pleasing and saying “no.” It happens in relationships for a variety of reasons and might stem from learning early on to neglect personal needs or possibly having a fear of rejection. Kim reminds us as viewers that people-pleasing to the extreme can negatively impact our well-being.

To tackle people-pleasing, it can be helpful to have a rule to pause before saying “yes” to things. Give yourself time to think about what you do and do not want to commit to and go from there. If you need some ideas, here are other statements you can use the next time you want to say “no” — remember to be firm, clear and avoid over-apologizing:

• Let me think about it and get back to you.

• I won’t be able to make it but thank you for thinking of me.

• I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. Is there some other way I could help?

• I’m honored you thought of me but I don’t have the bandwidth to do that right now. Maybe next time!

Listen
🎙 The Surprising Link Between People Pleasing & Your Health: A Medical Doctor’s Recommendation on How to Say “No”

On this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast", Mel and Dr. Neha Sangwan discuss people-pleasing, chronic worry and stress.

Listen here.

Today’s Affirmation

RESOURCES
Books & Articles

• Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by therapist, Nedra Glover Tawwab, on establishing healthy boundaries in all aspects of life.

• Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend on learning how to set boundaries with others.

• The Joy of Missing Out identifies the benefits of staying home and prioritizing self-care.

If you're in Maryland and looking to discuss therapy options, you can find me at Mindful Therapy Collective.