Finding Moments of Peace and Gratitude đŸ«¶ 🍁

Eldest daughter syndrome, secure attachment style in relationships, and gratitude journaling

Author

Mandy Heisler
October 23, 2024

Hello everyone!

October has always been one of my favorite months, and this year feels especially meaningful. Between celebrations with friends & family, fall activities, and trying new slow cooker recipes, it’s been a busy yet fulfilling season. I’m feeling deeply grateful for everything fall has brought.

Back in the summer, I shared some reflections on how I wanted to savor that season. Now, as we settle into fall, I wanted to do the same—sharing mindful fall moments that have helped me stay grounded. I hope that they also inspire you to slow down, take in the season, and find your own moments of peace.

One of my favorite fall activities! 🍂

Mindful Fall Moments:

  • Visiting a pumpkin patch

  • Watching comfort shows (more on that below)

  • Creating the perfect fall playlist

  • Making cozy, warm soups

  • Wearing my favorite sweaters

  • Taking walks to enjoy the changing leaves

  • Curling up with a book after lighting a candle

Wishing you all a mindful and restorative rest of October!

All the best,

Mandy

FROM THE GG BLOG
Eldest Daughter Syndrome: How Birth Orders Can Shape Behaviors and Relationships

If you’re the eldest daughter, you may carry more than just the weight of responsibility. While not an official diagnosis, "Eldest Daughter Syndrome" is a term used to describe the unique challenges and experiences often faced by the oldest daughter. The role you took on within your family dynamic can influence patterns of behavior that extend far beyond childhood.

If you notice yourself struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, or people-pleasing as an adult, it could be rooted in your experience as the eldest. Often, these roles are internalized, leaving you feeling like you must always be “on”—the fixer, caretaker, or the one in control—which can also influence how you approach your relationships.

MEDIA
How Netflix's Nobody Wants This Portrays a Secure Attachment Style in Relationships

Like many others, I became an instant fan of Nobody Wants This and binged the entire series when it was released. The show’s feel good vibe has captured the hearts of so many, and as a millennial, I couldn’t help but find comfort in seeing Adam Brody back on our screens. Beyond this, what stood out to me as a therapist was the portrayal of healthy communication and secure attachment, especially through the male lead character, Noah, played by Adam.

It’s refreshing to see a male character embodying a secure attachment style so well, and Nobody Wants This does a great job of showing what a healthy relationship can look like. If you haven't watched it yet and plan to, feel free to circle back to this later to avoid spoilers!

Here are a few key ways the show demonstrates secure attachment in relationships:

  1. Clear Communication of Intentions and Feelings

    From the beginning, Noah is honest with Joanne (Kristen Bell) about his intentions. On their first date, he’s transparent and states that he’s looking for a meaningful relationship, not just a rebound or something casual. Both partners express their feelings while holding space for each other.

  2. Listening and Prioritizing Partner’s Needs

    Feeling seen and heard is critical in relationships. Noah makes it a priority to listen to Joanne, ensuring she feels valued when she shares what’s important to her. Whether they’re navigating new experiences or challenges, Noah and Joanne consistently find ways to compromise, making sure both partners feel comfortable and supported.

  3. Respecting Boundaries

    Another aspect of secure attachment is recognizing and respecting boundaries. When Joanne expresses concerns about how she fits in Noah's life, he doesn’t dismiss her feelings. Instead, he reassures her, providing emotional stability and understanding, which strengthens their bond.

  4. Consistency and Vulnerability

    In moments of conflict or uncertainty, Noah remains consistent and dependable. His reliability strengthens their relationship, creating a sense of security. When Joanne opens up about her fears regarding their future, Noah is not only comforting with his words but aligns his actions with those reassurances, deepening their emotional connection.

  5. Embracing Independence

    Although they come from different backgrounds, Noah and Joanne make it a point to encourage each other’s independence. They support each other’s career goals and find a balance between spending time together and apart. This mutual respect for individual growth is a pillar of a healthy, secure relationship.

If you’d like to explore more about attachment styles, check out the book recommendations in the resources section below.

MENTAL HEALTH CHECK-IN
Gratitude Journal Prompts

Journaling is a powerful coping tool that I often recommend. It allows us to pause, reflect, and process experiences or events that we may be storing in our mind or body. It’s important to remember that journaling doesn’t have to look a certain way and you can start small and allow the practice to grow at your own pace. If you’re looking to incorporate more gratitude into your journaling practice, here are some prompts to get started:

  • Two or three things I’m grateful for today


  • The best part of today was


  • Two or three things that would make today great


  • One affirmation for today


  • A highlight of the day


  • One thing I learned today


  • An act of kindness I witnessed or received


  • A reason I’m excited about the future


  • Something I’m proud of


  • Someone I admire


  • An unexpected good thing that happened


  • Something beautiful I saw


  • An experience I feel lucky to have had


LISTEN
🎙 Understanding and Overcoming Social Anxiety: Attachment, Exposure and Confidence

On this episode of “Being Well”, hosts Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson discuss the roots of social anxiety, exploring how attachment styles and individual temperaments contribute to it. They also share evidence-based strategies for managing social anxiety. Listen here.

❝

Social anxiety isn’t about wanting to avoid people. It’s about wanting to connect but feeling too afraid to try.

Dr. Rick Hanson

Today’s Affirmation

I celebrate my inner growth with the same joy I find in the changing seasons.

If you're in Maryland or DC and looking to discuss therapy options, you can find me at Mindful Therapy Collective.